Yea baby ;)

Life may be a btch, and so am I. :) Sorry for the word, eh? ;) haters gonna hate! Just wanna say thaaaat, being hmmm how do I say this... You're just so insecure!! :) I ain't gonna stoop down to your level, baby. :) I hate yoooooooou! Yea, I'm talking about you. Yea, you, the one reading this right now. Just kidding. Nah, was just kidding that I was kidding. Oh I'm really just kidding. Or am I? =)) k inception? K... =))))

Anyway, enough of that! :D I had so much fun today! Went home at 10:30pm already~ my parents weren't home yet at that time which saved me the trouble of being scolded. Meheh :) was at my friend Chedric's house together with our other classmates! We were SUPPOSED to do the project. =)))) But you know how kids are. =))) we made some progressions though, a little bit. :) =)) We watched the movie The Inglorious Bastards. There were lots of morbid scenes like American soldiers scraping off the scalp of the Nazis. -___- It was so so awesome! =))) Weird as it may seem, I just super duper love movies about wars. Hihihi. I told them I was gonna leave at 8 but... Chedric and his parents insisted that I should stay for dinner. Whoaaa the food... Chedric's dad is such an amazing cook!!! -_____- the dishes were so yummy as in super!! Now I know from whom Chedric got his cooking skills from! :>

Before heading home, I was really feeling uneasy. I don't know why!! -_- Thanks to P though, I felt alright. :"> k! Haha need some rest! :)

God's night! ;)

The Great Escape~

Currently listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W42qP-DFOsQ :"> "Throw it away, forget yesterday, we'll make the great escape" :D 24 days remaining 'til I see him. So excited! :) Hayyy. I'm depressed. I easily get tired these days. All I wanna do is sleep sleep and sleep. -___- And I'm thinking of giving up on something. I need a sign, Lord. :( I need help. :((((( What to do!!! :(( Pray pray pray! That's all. I just wanna let it out! That's why I'm blogging right now, gotta let the depression ouuuut -____-

“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.”

In this short existence we have on Earth called life, we make certain decisions for us to be able to move may it be backward or forward. Making decisions require the participation of not only the mind but also the heart and soul. People, including us, senior students, find it hard to decide on what steps to take especially now that we're heading towards a new stage, a new level of education, a new life. Sometimes I wonder, I know you do too, what we would all be like after a few years? Will my dreams now be the same as my dreams when I go to college? When I was younger, I wanted to be a maid 'cause I enjoyed cleaning before =)) then I wanted to be a teacher. Now I want to be a lawyer, a musician, an artist! I sure do have a lot of ambitions! Who knows, I might end up as a manager of some famous restaurant.What would our children look like or who will we be married to? and what kind of person will I be like?... Will I still be as non-feminine as I am now? =)) I still remember the first day of this school year. I was late, as usual. In our class, there were 50 students all in one room. We made new friends, created tighter bonds and shared a lot of memories... and food. =)) Seems like just yesterday when we were just freshmen. Soon, we would all be separated. There are only 10 Fridays remaining 'til graduation. What will happen to us? Emotionally and mentally, I'm not yet ready to take the step forward to college. I'm afraid. But I'm much more afraid to let go. Letting go of high school... Just talking about it now breaks my heart. Right now, the future seems unclear. Well, it always does. We don't know what's ahead of us. Only God knows. With a positive outlook in life and a strong faith in Him that everything will be alright, we wouldn't be too stressed about thinking what the future holds for us. Thinking back, I never thought of the future before as much as I do now. I had no worries about what may happen to me when I was in my younger years. Now that I'm in my senior year in high school, whoa, everything changed. I now have a larger perspective about life. Now, there's no passing day that I don't think about what's down the road for me. Every night before I sleep, I imagine things that I want to happen. Right now, I'm happy at where I'm at. Of course nothing is perfectly the way how you want it to be. I sometimes get depressed over things I can't have. We all do. We just have to learn to accept things the way they are. We don't always get what we want but that just means that that isn't what we need. Believe that God has plans for each and everyone of us and that in His plans include us making plans for ourselves. Making plans leads us to making decisions. Our decisions then lead us to the path we have chosen. We have to work hard to achieve what we want to achieve. Our dreams won't come to us. We have to chase after them. Understand that we can't reach the destined road for us if we don't start and build a bridge towards that road. As my speech is coming to an end, I'll leave you all, the words of William Arthur Ward, “If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.”

Uncertainty.

I'm not sure. My heart is wavering. I don't know if I should continue this or not. I don't know where this is going. But that doesn't mean that I love him any less. I love him, I truly do. But if he won't choose me, there's nothing else I can do. I can't force him to pick me. :( He told me that he's unsure of his feelings 'cause of his former love. :(((( When he said those words, damn. My heart almost died. If this had happened with any other guy, I would have given up already. So why... why can't I give up now!!! I went to church earlier. The feelings came rushing back to me. It all came back to me. On the last week of December, there I was in our church, kneeling before God, thanking Him for letting me meet P. While I was praying earlier, tears came flowing down my cheeks. I tried to stop crying though, 'cause it was embarrassing to be seen by people meheh. And so, I thanked Him again for letting me get to know P. Everyday I will thank Him for that. I'm suffering right now. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't regret feeling this way, even though it hurts so bad. He's the reason why I'm hurting right now... and at the same time, he's the only one who could make me this much happy. :) I thank him for that. He doesn't know how much he had changed my life... if he were to leave me, I'd understand. God has plans for everyone of us, He has plans for me. Whatever will be will be. Right now, he's still unsure of his feelings. I feel the same. All I know is that I don't want this to end. I'm serious now. I could be a bitch (sorry for the word -_-) at times... I could fool around anytime, but no. I won't. This time I'm serious. I'm sure. I ain't letting him go. Being this unsure, I hate it, but at the same time I don't hate it. Whuuut. Now that's confusing. Haha. I think this is what it means to fall in love, eh? :) I'm kinda even thinking of moving to the next stage with him. WAAA. Can't believe I just said that. Makes me hope he won't read this hahaha. 'Cause I absolutely can't imagine my future without him. Liiike... when I think of me being a college student, there's always this automatic question of, "Hmm when would I call him?" it's like he's a part of my life now. A big part of it. :) Of course, God's still my number 1. :) He may not want the same things I want with him and me but... I'm not giving up. (paulit-ulit? HAHA) There. He's sleeping already. I just wanna let this out first before I go to bed. I'm in love. :) Mama, help meeeee. I'm in trouble. Hahahah life's too short to have regrets. :) As long as he's happy, Imma be happy too. Just hopin' we'll end up together someday. Because!! I really really really wanna grow old with him. :) <---- and I just can't believe I just said that. =))) nah, it's true, though. :) He's the one I wanna be with when all my dreams come true. He's the one I want next to me. Most of all, he's the one I wanna cuddle with while watching Disney movies!! :"> Ughhh why does it have to be this way! Why is he so far awaaay. :( When we talk, sometimes I can't focus on what he's saying 'cause there are these 5 words that my heart and mind has always been shouting... "I WANT TO HUG YOU!" huhuhu I really really do. Always always always. -______- now I sound like a stalker/maniac hahaha :D Sorry but, I can't give you up! :) I loooooove you P!!! :)



I think I can sleep noooow. Tomorrow I'll start a new post. I won't go with the topic marriage for my speech in English after all. Hmmm. I'll go with what I feel right now. About highschool and on what the future holds for us, senior students. :)

Marriage.

I don't know what being married to the person you love feels like. Just thinking about spending eternity with the one you love... makes my heart race. I have no idea what it feels like, for now... to have a family with your other half... But what is marriage anyway?

With the power of Google I searched it's meaning.

According to Wikipedia, Marriage (or wedlock) is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found. Such a union, often formalized via a wedding ceremony, may also be called matrimony.
People marry for many reasons, including one or more of the following: legal, social, libidinal, emotional, economic, spiritual, and religious.


A website called Psychology Today describes marriage as the process by which two people who love each other make their relationship public, official, and permanent. It is the joining of two people in a bond that putatively lasts until death, but in practice is increasingly cut short by divorce.

Having witnessed my parents' divorce, I have doubted the lasting power of marriage. Never ending... that's how it's supposed to be right? Getting a divorce, for me, isn't wrong. Getting married too early is the problem that made them undergo divorce afterwards. They were too impatient. They thought they found the right person for them.

The right person...  By experiencing unrequited loves and heartbreaks, we unknowingly close our hearts every single time we get hurt. That's why we put up standards after standards which make it so hard for us to find the right person for us. Some have already met with their soul mates but they haven't realized it yet. How do we know that a person is the one for us? Some people say that you'll "just know".

There's this book titled Mars and Venus on a Date by John Gray that I am currently reading that was lent to me by my friend, Keith. It says there that there are certain steps to get to marriage with the one you truly love. There are five stages: attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy, and finally, engagement. :) We have to go through these stages slowly to create a loving and lasting relationship.

I'm past the attraction stage. I can say that me and P are on the uncertainty stage now. :) Yes, I'm having doubts. I am not sure where our relationship is going... but one thing I'm certain of is that I don't want this feeling to end. Wherever this will lead me, I'll just let it be. In the uncertainty stage, as stated in the book, "Even though you may not be sure, if a part of you wants to pursue the relationship and if you want to prepare yourself to know for sure, then is time to move on to stage three and have an exclusive relationship. :)


But of course, how you handle or how you work your relationship is up to you. No book nor person can tell you what to do or what you should do. In the end, you just have to follow your heart. :)

Have you met the one? You have to be careful. You may experience a lot of heartbreaks but let each every heartbreak be a lesson. Being physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually attached to a person can only mean love. Listen and follow your heart, and nothing can go wrong. Go find that person, or if you believe you have found him/her go build a bridge towards your destiny. :)

Marriage... I still have a lot to go through to understand what it means and what it feels like to be married. Right now... I have to focus on myself. Gotta love yourself first before you can truly love your partner.

I don't know where this speech is going I'm not making any sense at all am I? -___-

UGHHHHH GOTTA WORK ON THIS -_____- This is for my speech in English class. Can't focus! -____-

Dreams~

What do I want to be...Where do I want to go... What do I want to achieve? These are the questions that I always ask. First off, I have to think about what I have already achieved. Have I already succeeded in life? We all have a different definitions of what success is or on what we base it on. For me, success is having reached your goals and also, having to touch as many lives as you can. I have a lot of ambitions! I wanna be a singer, a dancer, an artist, a model (HAHA), a hero, a superhero =)), a lawyer, a teacher, a bird(?), a butterfly... what am I talking about... Hahaha. Most of all!!! I wanna be an inspiration and a good example to others! Being able to inspire people... I'd love that. I just wanna live a life with no regrets. I wanna make tons of friends, make gazillions of good memories, have an everlasting love with the right guy for me (I hope it's P meheh), live a long and fulfilling life with my family, and when I die... I wanna be embraced by the Lord in His arms. :) To die happy. There you have it. Those are my dreams. Hmmm. I still don't know what lies ahead for me... but I sure am gonna live each moment like it's my last. Especially now that there are only 10 Fridays remaining before we leave highschool. :( gonna miss all my schoolmates, classmates, teachers? Hell yes! :( Huhuhu :(

Go go go Aimee! :) Gonna chase after my dreams!!!! :)

Euphoriaaaa!

Not even the word euphoria could totally be the definition of what I feel right now. I am just so so so happy!! :"""> I passed the UPCAT! I am qualified to be a University of the Philippines (UP) student! :) yeyyy Thank You so much, Lord God! Now I could imagine what my future would probably look like and plan for it. Wooooo. If Ellysa and my other girlfriends who passed in the same campus as ours, LB,  would be permitted by their parents to live in an apartment, we'd all live together :"> yeyyyy!!!! I know it won't be easy. It will be hard. There will be times I'd tell myself to give it up, I'm sure. But I will really fight my laziness haha I'll study super duper hard!!! :) To the maximum level haha no words can describe how happy I am right now :) thank You, Lord!! I offer my life to You. :) I'm now more determined to study well, knowing that I'll be able to study at my dream school in college! :) Yeyyy :) My family has always been very supportive of me. I love them very much! More than words. Meheh :"> and also, I'd like to thank P!!! For adding color into my life meheheh cheesy =)))) My heart can't contain this... I've never felt this much happiness before. My heart's gonna explode any minute now :"> I owe it all to You, Lord God! :) I love Youuuu! :) >:D<


I still don't wanna leave my highschool life yet.... but something changed now. Now, I'm finally looking forward to college. :)

♥

CONFUSED

Happy. Sad. Happy. Sad. Happy. Sad. Happy. Sad. What. Am. I. Gonna. Do. Might. Not. Make. It. Out. Alive. (my heart that is)

YOU STUPID HEART

I knew it I knew it I knew it. Can't believe myself. Now talking with my half sistah Eda. -___- And whyy... why am I crying like this. First tears for the new year. Great!!!!!!!

Cheers to 2012! :)

Haluuu there hihi. I still haven't done any of my projects yet haha huhu. Gonna do it tomorrow. Wanna take a full rest today!! :) I.. had a nice 2011 ending and an awesome start of 2012. :) That's all thanks to God, my family, my friends.. and.. meheh P. :) Anywaaay. There's this Facebook application called Message From God. :D And it says that today.. God wants me to know..

 that nothing is exciting if you know what the outcome is going to be. You keep wanting to know how things will play out, keep asking to see the future. God doesn't give anyone the power to know the future, because life becomes maddeningly boring when you know everything upfront. So, instead of struggling, enjoy the uncertainty - to be alive means to not know.

Hihihi :) true true true. Gotta enjoy the uncertainty. :D Last night I had fun keeping up with my close friends. Was shocked with their new loves. Hahaha ayun. I... sometimes think about the past huhu. Maybe I've been going back too much lately. Gotta move on!! I'll do my best to not be afraid of falling just 'cause of a previous heartbreak of mine. :) New year, new life. Meheheh :) Anyway!! I miss P!! :) We slept at 4:30am na meheh

As I've said on my previous post, I really did burn the paper where I wrote things I wanna forget. :) And the bad things I regret doing :( ayun. I buuuurned it to ashes. Meheh. :) This new year, I wanna live a life with no regrets. :D Goodbye 2011, hello hello hello 2012! :)

Cheers to 2012! ;)