Happily in love :)

I'm dating this guy for a month now. His name is Nikolai. :) We've been really close friends since the start of our senior year in highschool but I only noticed my feelings for him on the last month of the school year. I posted about our Hamlet play before right? During our practices, that was when we became closer like there was a spark for me na hahah k. Uhm we got super close nung start ng school year eh, June-July 2011. We were seatmates in Music class. Talked on the phone a lot. We became homies. ;) He thought I was flirting with him but to be honest, I wasn't though I had a tiny crush on him haha. We used to ask each other for love advice and such. I even used to help him out on my bestfriend whom he used to have a crush on hahahha :D ayuuun then we grew distant. Cause I heard a rumor about him spreading bad rumors about another close friend of mine so yea I was forced to ignore him. It was really hard to cause he was so persistent, following me and talking to me hahah!!! Ayuun. Pero nung mga 3rd quarter of the SY na, the rumor was long forgotten and I started talking to him again :) About P, the guy who broke my heart -___- Nikolai was the only one giving me advice like leave P and stuff na before. He was right. :) Ayuuuun. I have him to thank for that. Nooow, I am happily in love with him. :D We just celebrated our 1st monthsary last Friday, May 11. :)

I. Am. Sad. :(

In less than a month's time, I'll be leaving for Laguna. That's a three hour drive from here. I'll be studying there while he stays here in the city. :( he'll be taking nursing at FEU-NRMF. I will miss him so much so so so much. :( I'll be going home every end of the month lang :( I trust myself that I won't be falling in love with anyone else... I trust him too. But I don't trust the people around him. I know for a fact that a lot of girls will be aiming for him. I mean c'mon who wouldn't!! :( He's perfect. I'm so scared that others would see what I see in him and would fall for him too :( damn this.


At the moment, I'm feeling super emotional cause we haven't talked a lot yesterday and today as well. :( I keep thinking... oh this is what it would feel like when we're apart na. :/ I'm scared of losing him so much that I don't know what to do anymore. We're exact opposites. He parties, I stay at home. He's rich. I'm not. He's a good dancer, I ABSOLUTELY AM NOT HAHAHA. I dunno, it just seems like we live in different worlds. Literally? Hahahha k. I love him so muuuch. :)

I wanna marry him. :) This time, it's for sure. :D

Whatever happens, I'll be fighting for this love. But if I can't make him happy, I have to let him go. :'(